Speaking Out For These Milk Mamas-The Life of a Dairy Cow!

       I believe being a vegetarian lead me to choosing to breast feed.  A year before I was pregnant with Teddy I read exactly how we get the milk we drink on a regular basis.  After learning that the dairy cow was producing milk for it's offspring and not for us humans, I instantly felt everything I had been told about "milk doing a body good" was wrong.  Armed with the knowledge of the true natural process of lactation as a perfect form of nutrients for species-specific babies, it was only obvious that I too would do everything in my power to feed my baby as god-or nature had intended.

        When Teddy was 12 months and right around the age where most people, doctors included, are starting to offer suggestions of including whole cows milk into my babies diet,  I was very conflicted by the idea of introducing animal products to him.  The diet choices I had made for myself were based on the research I had done on the natural nutritional needs of humans balanced with a compassion for animals whose lives, I felt, were unnecessarily being taken and exploited due to the greed of the meat and dairy industries.  But what did I know about the nutritional needs of babies or toddlers??  Luckily one of my very informed friends (whose name should include a .com at the end as a reasearchable mommy resource) enlightened me with the knowledge that cow's milk even at the age of one was still a substitution for breast milk.  Since then I have read countless articles concluding that it is natural for human babies to nurse well into and even beyond their second year of life making the use of cow's milk really obsolete.  Knowing my research for my own health could now be used for Teddy's diet-I regained my power as a confident healthy woman and now new mom and I began really focusing on smart healthy choices for my family again!

     On my path back to veganisim after a year and a half of selfishly including all my favorite cow's milk dairy "comfort" foods, I once again found myself surfing the web with a desire to learn more about the dairy industry.  After nursing for 14 months I am finding myself struck with the life of a dairy cow.  I have a renewed empathy for dairy cows.  Many cows are separated from their babies right after birth, not even allowed to feed even once the babies their bodies are lactating for!  I have a deeper compassion for these animals as a fellow milk mamas and I'd like to share there story here.  Just as us lactavists are working to spread the word about the truth in breast feeding in a currently under informed, formula feeding world, I'd like to do my part to spread the word about the truth of the dairy industry in a currently overly deceivingly marketed dairy FULL world.  It's not exactly the "happy cow eagerly awaiting their acceptance to the sunny california meadow" picture as painted for you by the dairy moguls.

I encourage you to read through the whole article here as I have take out the video.

How does drinking milk harm cows?

Dairy cows are continually kept pregnant and lactating and their babies are taken away from them when they are only two days old. The life of a dairy cow is not as natural as you might think, especially considering that 80 percent of dairy cows are made pregnant through artificial insemination. 1

The only way for a cow, like any other mammal, to produce milk is for the cow to have a baby. The milk produced by cows is naturally meant for baby calves; however, because people want to drink this milk, the baby calves are taken away from their mothers when they are only a few days old. 1 Cows are extremely maternal animals and both the mother cow and the baby calf suffer terribly from being separated at such a young age. One study showed that calves with no interaction with their mothers or only interaction through a fence, "induced significant increases in walking, butting, urinating, and vocalizing"2. In fact, one cow missed her baby so much that she broke out of her paddock and trekked through 8 kilometers of paddocks and rivers to find her baby 3. On dairy farms, mother cows can be heard bellowing out wildly trying to find their babies as well as running after the cattle trucks that take their babies to separate farms.

The baby calves lives are then decided by their gender. If the calf is male then he is taken away to be raised and slaughtered for meat. Because of this the NZ dairy industry contributes to the death of more than 1 million male calves every year. 4 That’s one death every 20 seconds. In fact, 55 percent of all beef in New Zealand supermarkets comes directly from the dairy industry. 5 These male calves are transported to separate meat farms or slaughterhouses, where they will never see their mothers again. Transported as young as 4 days of age, they endure cold and hunger, without food for up to 30 hours, while struggling to maintain their footing in the cattle truck.

There is no legal requirement for calves to be fed before being transported. A 1998 study 6 looked at 7,169 young male calves who arrived at a Wanganui abattoir (slaughterhouse) after a 7-hour journey in cattle trucks. The research found that 27 arrived in an 'unacceptable condition' - lying down, unable to walk, extremely weak or seriously injured. A further 4 percent were 'marginal' with a 'wet umbilicus, were hollow sided, apparently immature, or weak and slow and unsteady on their feet'. While these numbers may not seem large, the fact that a million male calves are slaughtered every year means that thousands probably arrive at slaughterhouses in critical condition, and tens of thousands are seriously unwell after the journey.

If the calf is female she will either be kept as a herd replacement, living in the same conditions as her mother, or she will be sent to a slaughterhouse or killed on farm.

  

In the 6-8 days after calving, cows lose weight and condition rapidly, as their bodies consume themselves to provide milk for absent calves 7, so 

that humans can buy milkshakes to wash down burgers made from the bodies of those same calves. Researchers have estimated that a modern dairy cow is under as much strain as a cyclist on Tour de France. 8 

Naturally cows can live to be up to 25 years old. But on dairy farms they are slaughtered when they are only 5-7 years old meaning that most dairy cows live less than a third of their natural life span. In fact, 20 percent of New Zealand's dairy cows are killed every year, because they are considered too old or they fail to become pregnant. 9 Cows form strong relationships and spend most of their time in 'friendship groups' of 2-4 cows who lick and groom each other. 10 This annual slaughter is very distressing to their friends in the herd.

Cows are forced onto trucks (in the same way baby male calves are transported) that take them to be slaughtered. When they arrive at the slaughterhouse, they are held together in stunning pens where they are stunned with a captive bolt pistol. They are then shackled by the leg, lifted up and have their throats slit. After the blood has been drained away, the cows body is used for cheap meat and pet food. 11

Because dairy cows are milked so excessively, NZ dairy cows have increased risks of teat diseases like mastitis. Symptoms of mastitis include include hot, swollen, acutely painful udders, fever, and loss of appetite. When a cow has mastitis her udder may become so inflamed that it is as hard as a stone, and blood bubbles into her milk, which becomes clotted and watery 12. Severe cases of mastitis can kill a cow in less then 24 hours. Modern dairy cows have been bred for milk production to the point where the teats of their enlarged udders dangle close to the ground, and become muddy and infected. 13

Although tail docking is not as common in cattle as in sheep, the tails of some dairycows are amputated using a tight rubber ring, or a searing iron, in order to “improve comfort for milking personnel, and enhance milking efficiency,” 13 or to try and stop mastitis. However, the scientific evidence for mastitis prevention is inconclusive. A US study by researcher Dan Weary found no health benefits in chopping off cows’ tails. 14

Amputation is very painful, as the cow’s tail is richly supplied with nerves and blood vessels. Cows need their tails to swat away insects, and possibly to communicate with other cows. Docked cows try in vain to flick their tail stumps, and are likely to suffer from neuropathic pain, similar to the “phantom limb” pain experienced by human amputees. 16  Cattle may also be branded for identification.

The RNZSPCA is opposed both to the docking of the tails of dairy cows, and to the use of hot branding.

Calves are often dehorned to prevent damage or bruising to their carcass during slaughter. Calf's may be dehorned with bolt cutters, scoop dehorners or a butchers saw. This causes pain, bleeding and exposure of the frontal sinuses in older animals. 13 The pain can last 6 hours after dehorning. 15 Dehorning is often done without the use of anaesthetics.

There have even been some moves to move dairy cows in factory farms.

But regardless of how well treated, one fundmental question remains. How can we justify treating sentient beings as nothing more then economic commodities, nothing more then property? Animals status as property is the root of all treatment problems that may arise. In a world where very few (if any) moral issues are universally agreed upon, we all agree that human slavery is wrong. We recognise that it is wrong for one sentient individual to own another. We recognise that it is wrong for one sentient being to treat another as a commodity, as a thing, as property. ere

Meet Jaime-an EXTENDED breastfeeder!

"I’m an extended breastfeeder. Wow. If you’d asked me a year ago, I’d have said no, I won’t be breastfeeding past a year.
Breastfeeding is a topic that seems to be quite unnecessarily controversial. And then when you add the word “extended” in front of it, well then it seemingly becomes a whole other monster of a topic.
When I was pregnant and had decided I’d like to try breastfeeding, I took the approach of “Sure, I’ll try it, but if it doesn’t work out, no big deal.” I was afraid to add to pressure myself to do this thing I had very little knowledge of (and no experience with). Secretly, I really REALLY wanted it to work out, though. When the baby was born and we slowly figured out how breastfeeding worked, I gave myself the new goal of nursing just during my 14-week maternity leave and then evaluating whether to continue based on how it’s going.
As the end of my maternity leave drew nearer, I realized the importance of continuing to breastfeed as I transitioned to working again. I gave myself a new goal–to breastfeed until the baby was 6 months old, then reevaluate.
At 6 months, we were still going strong. And it was toward the end of winter, so I figured I should try to make it at least until after flu season ended. So I gave myself a new goal–one year.
Then a year came and went, and Jax showed no indication of wanting to wean (and frankly neither did I). I am a proponent of allowing a child to wean him/herself when he or she is ready, if it’s not too much of a burden on the mother. Given that I was still enjoying the breastfeeding experience at 1 year and didn’t consider it much of a burden, we kept going.
Jax is 17 months old now, and we still nurse several times per day. He eats table food and snacks, and he drinks whole cow’s milk when we aren’t together. But my boy still loves his “nummies nummies.” And for now, I’m ok with it.
However, I do admit I’m beginning to notice more frequent thoughts of “maybe I should gently wean soon” and “I wonder if he’ll sleep better if we stop nursing.” I hate to consider the end of our breastfeeding, which we’ve both truly enjoyed. It saddens me to think of a time when Jax won’t want to be comforted that way. I know we’ll find other ways, though, in due time. Babyhood is fleeting, and I am overjoyed that my little guy is growing up so big and strong, but the end of breastfeeding is bittersweet–laden with big, heavy emotions like sadness at losing our special time together, guilt over thoughts about weaning before he is possibly ready, and happiness and satisfaction over a job well done. I know lots of people will say that we’ll find other ways to connect and spend special, quality time together. I know that’s true, but I don’t think anything will feel quite as special (for me and Jax) as the time we spend nursing.
I never, EVER thought I’d be successful at breastfeeding. And I certainly never expected to continue into my son’s second year. But I am thankful it’s happened this way for us. I’m fortunate to not have too many Negative Nancies issuing their disapproval of our extended breastfeeding. If my friends or family members find it odd that we’re still going at 17 months, they’ve kept those opinions mostly to themselves,thank goodness. In contrast, I’ve even had a few people tell me that they think it’s wonderful.
I picked up a copy of What to Expect the Toddler Years the other night because I had a giftcard and a whim. The first page I flipped to once I returned home with the book was one all about extended breastfeeding–more accurately, how to wean. I was amazed to read that the author thinks that there is no nutritional benefit to nursing past one year. Wow–people still think that on the baby’s birthday, a mother’s milk suddenly turns to the nutritional equivalent of water? In case you’re interested, Kellymom.com lists some studies that have found that breastmilk is a valuable source of nutrition past the 1-year mark.
I’m sure you can guess that as I continued to read WTETTY, my blood began to boil. While there is a wealth of information in the What to Expect books, I don’t encourage breastfeeding mothers to use it as a breastfeeding resource. There are so many other, better, more informed resources out there for moms interested in extended breastfeeding.
I suppose I’ve ranted long enough. My main point is this: I’m a proud extended breastfeeder and I’ll keep going as long as I feel it’s the right choice for my family.I’m an extended breastfeeder. Wow. If you’d asked me a year ago, I’d have said no, I won’t be breastfeeding past a year.
Breastfeeding is a topic that seems to be quite unnecessarily controversial. And then when you add the word “extended” in front of it, well then it seemingly becomes a whole other monster of a topic.
When I was pregnant and had decided I’d like to try breastfeeding, I took the approach of “Sure, I’ll try it, but if it doesn’t work out, no big deal.” I was afraid to add to pressure myself to do this thing I had very little knowledge of (and no experience with). Secretly, I really REALLY wanted it to work out, though. When the baby was born and we slowly figured out how breastfeeding worked, I gave myself the new goal of nursing just during my 14-week maternity leave and then evaluating whether to continue based on how it’s going.
As the end of my maternity leave drew nearer, I realized the importance of continuing to breastfeed as I transitioned to working again. I gave myself a new goal–to breastfeed until the baby was 6 months old, then reevaluate.
At 6 months, we were still going strong. And it was toward the end of winter, so I figured I should try to make it at least until after flu season ended. So I gave myself a new goal–one year.
Then a year came and went, and Jax showed no indication of wanting to wean (and frankly neither did I). I am a proponent of allowing a child to wean him/herself when he or she is ready, if it’s not too much of a burden on the mother. Given that I was still enjoying the breastfeeding experience at 1 year and didn’t consider it much of a burden, we kept going.
Jax is 17 months old now, and we still nurse several times per day. He eats table food and snacks, and he drinks whole cow’s milk when we aren’t together. But my boy still loves his “nummies nummies.” And for now, I’m ok with it.
However, I do admit I’m beginning to notice more frequent thoughts of “maybe I should gently wean soon” and “I wonder if he’ll sleep better if we stop nursing.” I hate to consider the end of our breastfeeding, which we’ve both truly enjoyed. It saddens me to think of a time when Jax won’t want to be comforted that way. I know we’ll find other ways, though, in due time. Babyhood is fleeting, and I am overjoyed that my little guy is growing up so big and strong, but the end of breastfeeding is bittersweet–laden with big, heavy emotions like sadness at losing our special time together, guilt over thoughts about weaning before he is possibly ready, and happiness and satisfaction over a job well done. I know lots of people will say that we’ll find other ways to connect and spend special, quality time together. I know that’s true, but I don’t think anything will feel quite as special (for me and Jax) as the time we spend nursing.
I never, EVER thought I’d be successful at breastfeeding. And I certainly never expected to continue into my son’s second year. But I am thankful it’s happened this way for us. I’m fortunate to not have too many Negative Nancies issuing their disapproval of our extended breastfeeding. If my friends or family members find it odd that we’re still going at 17 months, they’ve kept those opinions mostly to themselves,thank goodness. In contrast, I’ve even had a few people tell me that they think it’s wonderful.
I picked up a copy of What to Expect the Toddler Years the other night because I had a giftcard and a whim. The first page I flipped to once I returned home with the book was one all about extended breastfeeding–more accurately, how to wean. I was amazed to read that the author thinks that there is no nutritional benefit to nursing past one year. Wow–people still think that on the baby’s birthday, a mother’s milk suddenly turns to the nutritional equivalent of water? In case you’re interested, Kellymom.com lists some studies that have found that breastmilk is a valuable source of nutrition past the 1-year mark.
I’m sure you can guess that as I continued to read WTETTY, my blood began to boil. While there is a wealth of information in the What to Expect books, I don’t encourage breastfeeding mothers to use it as a breastfeeding resource. There are so many other, better, more informed resources out there for moms interested in extended breastfeeding.
I suppose I’ve ranted long enough. My main point is this: I’m a proud extended breastfeeder and I’ll keep going as long as I feel it’s the right choice for my family. "


This post is meant to support fellow extended nursers and encourage mamas nursing infants, thank you Jaime:)  Jamie is a member of the M.O.B.B group and has a great blog called James and Jax and has some great bf-ing posts including these breast feeding tips!

"Extended" Nursing

Teddy is now 13 months and we are considered "extended nursers".  So what does that mean?  It means we have mastered many more nursing positions than the 3 they teach you at the hospital or in breast feeding books.  There is the standing nurse, the running nurse-where he moves his legs from on top of my lap to the front of my lap then off my lap, then back on and so on and so on, the talking nurse-where he practices his vocabulary of words while nursing and most recently the squirming nurse where he moves his head all over and still manages to keep his super suction latch!  But mostly extended nursing just means more nursing!

I see extended nursing as more nursing in a society where any nursing past 12 months is considered unusual or out of the "norm".  We nurse 3-5 times throughout the night (still), we nurse 2-3 times before our morning nap (still), we nurse  after naps (still) we nurse after meals (still) AND we now nurse when we are sad or unhappy or hurt.  Yep more nursing.  New positions. And more nursing past 12 months.

Nursing is just who we are these days.  It is what brings us back together when teddy has had a whole half hour by himself playing with his toys or an afternoon of exploring the grounds of starbucks or a new playground or a few hours of sleep on his own.  It is not hard, it doesn't hurt, I'm not engorged or leaky.  It is fun and sometimes funny. Yes, it is time consuming (still) and tiring (still) and can be awkward when we are around people who are not open to extended nursing, but having a space for teddy and mommy to reconnect with each other and cuddle for a few minutes together at an age where it is easy to lose that connection so quickly with new-found independence is totally worth it!

NEW! You Know Your A Mama When...

It's been a few months and our babies are growing!!!  Have you looked around lately at your life and seen something that TOTALLY would not have been there if it weren't for the baby in your home??

I knew I was a mama tonight when I ate pizza and oranges for dinner! ...yum!

How 'bout you?

Haven't forgotten about the blog! ...

Well it has been quite a while since my last post.  I have been thinking about milk mamas and have had numerous ideas for posts in the past month, but with a kitchen reno in the works and taxes due in almost one month (I am the bookkeeper and just had a baby=waaay behind!), I've been a little pre occupied!

However occupied, I am in need of some milk mama support...

With our next two teeth just arriving, I've found myself nursing a lot the past week!  While glued to the rocker or lying awake at night, I've been some what fantasizing about weaning Teddy from night-time nursing.  I definitely couldn't start something like while two teeth were coming-but now they are here and I'm envisioning a full night of sleep again!

Before I begin this attempt, I'd love to hear from mamas who have successfully or unsuccessfully weaned.  Although it was my plan to allow teddy to decided when he would stop nursing-we are approaching 1 year and I would love some uninterrupted sleep!!!  We are weaning from the meds he is on in about 3 weeks and I'd love to start attempting to rock and comfort back to sleep other ways besides nursing at night shortly after that and before Teddy turns 1 year in 6 weeks.  ADVICE NEEDED!!!  Send it to me!!  even if you think I shouldn't wean Teddy, I'd love to consider all input before deciding to step in and wean myself....

Results of the Nursing to Sleep Poll-Refreshing!

I created the "Do you nurse your baby to sleep" poll simply because I do and on the days where I have lots to do and deadlines to meet and a super needy baby (like today because we are teething), I often find myself wondering if I will ever be able to do anything again and if I am creating a bad habit with Teddy.

I didn't choose attachment parenting-it chose me (see my post http://milkmamasspeak.blogspot.com/2011/02/attachment-parenting-at-its-best.html), so even though I feel in my gut that satisfying Teddy's needs will help him to be a secure, independent and trusting adult one day, I do sometimes doubt myself when it comes to the choices I am making-mostly because society's plan for how a baby should be parented tells me babies need to be taught to be independent.  While I think there is a time and a place for that mentality, I feel this is not yet the time nor the place for Teddy to be pushed into his "independence".  92% of moms reading my blog said they nursed their babies to sleep!  These results remind me that it is normal, babies need their mommies when they are young and this is how we comfort & sooth the best:)

Take my next poll to the right:
How long was it until your baby slept through the night?

Attachment Parenting At It's Best

When I was pregnant, the last thing I expected to advocate was Attachment Parenting!  Just the sound of it made me envision the Super Nanny and all the spoiled brats she needs to reconcile.  I admit, looking back,  I was a little detached during pregnancy.  It wasn't hard to be-I had never been pregnant before, my body was changing and I couldn't see the adorable little man inside of me!  I read countless books on breast feeding trying to gain a sense of understanding on how it was done ( I really hated the idea of formula!!)  There were always sections about nursing past infancy.  Overall, it seemed all my sources stated the same reasons for such a "decision". It was a great way to bond, moms didn't see a reason to give it up, it was easy to calm a toddler-all reasons I didn't feel justified needing to closely monitor your diet (i.e, cut back on caffeine and  give up sushi) for longer than 12 months!

Fast forward 9 months and I found myself ordering the book "The Fussy Baby", by Dr Sears.  Dr. Sears coined the term Attachment Parenting.  He explained all the reason to be an "attached" parent throughout a book that would soon be my bible for the first 3 months of Teddy's life.  He explained that following baby's cues and needs right away taught them to trust and in turn created confident little, loving individuals.  Even with my little 8lb bundle of joy in my arms, I still kind of cringed at the thought of raising an attached baby, but Teddy was 'high need', he needed to nurse all the time and hated being put down and going to sleep and if Dr Sears was promising a confident loving baby by attaching myself to this little man until he was ready for the world-that's what I was going to do!

It wasn't easy.  Well actually it was very easy! I loved this little baby so much and I loved needing to be near him and calming him and mostly being released from the guilt I once felt for giving my newborn baby just what he wanted and needed.  The hardest part was the family and friends who didn't understand.  I didn't blame them, not too long ago I felt just as they did and if I had been given an "easy" baby, I would have never opened up to this approach either.

Dr Sears promised a compassionate, secure, self confident little person by attachment parenting and after reading a few of his books, his information made a lot of sense and I trusted him!  Teddy is 9 1/2 months old and I know we have a long way to go, but here are just a few observations over the past month or so...

At nine months-Teddy is crawling everywhere and pulling up on everything!  He is eager to learn new things, fearless and confident in his abilities.  Teddy is so happy!  He loves making people laugh and laughing at people:), singing and dancing!  Teddy is loving and caring to those he knows best-hugs and kisses galore!  While we are still slightly uneasy with new people and with extensive people holding him and we co-sleep the majority of the night and nurse every 1 1/2 or so, I think the qualities above are proof that we are on the right track and that attachment parenting is JUST what Teddy and I needed!

After being completely attached to this little man (including but not limited to breast feeding, co-sleeping and baby wearing) for 9 months now, I am saddened by the misunderstanding that babies are thought to manipulate and train their parents, and that babies shouldn't get too much attention or be held too long.

Is AP right for you and your baby?  Here are some statistics from an article I recently read:

According to Attachment Theory, many babies are born without the ability to self-regulate emotions — that is, they find the world to be confusing and disorganized, and do not have the coping abilities required to soothe themselves. Thus, during times of distress, they seek out their caregivers because the physical closeness of the caregiver helps to soothe the infant and to re-establish equilibrium. When the caregiver is consistently responsive and sensitive, the child gradually learns and believes that she is worthy of love and that other people can be trusted to provide it. She learns that the caregiver is a secure base from which she can explore the world, and if she encounters adversity, she can return to her base for support and comfort. This trust in the caregiver results in what is known as a secure individual.

Children who do not have consistently responsive and sensitive caregivers often develop into insecure individuals, characterized by anxious, avoidant, and/or ambivalent interactions. Long-term studies have shown that secure individuals, compared to insecure individuals, are more likely to be outgoing, popular, well-adjusted, compassionate, and altruistic. As adults, secure individuals tend to be comfortable depending on others, readily develop close attachments, and trust their partners. Insecure individuals, on the other hand, tend to be unsettled in their relationships, displaying anxiety (manifesting as possessiveness, jealousy, and clinginess) or avoidance (manifesting as mistrust and a reluctance to depend on others). North American parenting practices, including CIO, are often influenced by fears that children will grow up too dependent. However, an abundance of research shows that regular physical contact, reassurance, and prompt responses to distress in infancy and childhood results in secure and confident adults who are better able to form functional relationships.

The Dangers of CIO

It has been suggested in the past that CIO is healthy for infants’ physical development, particularly the lungs. A recent study looking at the immediate and long-term physiologic consequences of infant crying suggests otherwise. The following changes due to infant crying have been documented:

• Increased heart rate and blood pressure
• Reduced oxygen level
• Elevated cerebral blood pressure
• Depleted energy reserves and oxygen
• Interrupted mother-infant interaction
• Brain injury
• Cardiac dysfunction.

The study’s researchers suggested that caregivers should answer infant cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively — recommendations that are in line with AP principles.

CIO or AP as a Matter of Perception

CIO supporters tend to view their infants’ cries as attempts to manipulate caregivers into providing more attention. Holding this view can be detrimental to the immediate and long-term health of the baby. In the field of cognitive psychology, there exists the premise that our thoughts underlie our behavior. Thus, if we think positively about an individual, our behaviors toward them tend to be positive as well. Conversely, if we think negatively about an individual, we will behave correspondingly. Consider people in your own life whom you consider manipulative — how does that perception influence your behavior toward them? It is unlikely that the interpretation of a manipulative personality will result in the compassionate, empathetic, and loving care of that individual. Infants, quite helpless without the aid of their caregivers, may suffer both emotional and physical consequences of this type of attitude.

When faced with a crying baby, it may be prudent to ask yourself the following questions: Why am I choosing this response? Do I want my baby to stop crying because he feels comforted and safe, or do I want my baby to stop crying for the sake of stopping crying? What is my baby learning about me and the world when I respond in this manner? If I was a baby and was upset, how would I want my caregivers to respond?

 

Amy's Story Part 3-Her Final Infancy BF Challenge

And finally, the last challenge of infancy. . .

At 9 months, it came time for Abbey to see the pediatric gastroenterologist to make sure that everything was working smoothly with her digestion, and that there weren’t any continuing effects from the surgery she had at birth. Let’s just cut to the chase here: The GI was a complete numskull when it came to lactation. Basically, the idiot with the M.D. looked over at Abbey for a millisecond, then turned to his computer and stared at her stats on a formula fed growth chart, telling me that my baby girl (who was pulling up on the wall and jabbering constantly while he was in the room) was malnourished and that I was starving her with my milk. He declared that unless I stopped feeding her at the breast and started fortifying my milk with formula and feeding her ONLY by bottle for the rest of her infancy, she would continue to be malnourished. The nutritionist that came in after him to give me my “orders” about her “new feeding schedule” wasn’t much better. When I opened up discussion about the nutritional differences (and superiority) of breastmilk and exclusive breastfeeding, she changed the subject. I approached the topic of how adding formula to breastmilk in a bottle changes the bioavailability of the nutrients and adds un-needed risk of infection and she continued her instructions without so much as a pause. It was awful. And appalling. I tried to offer other suggestions about ways to supplement with mother's milk to add additional calories to her diet, but they simply ignored me.

You can probably guess from my attitude as I write this that I didn’t ever “fortify” my breastmilk. I knew as a mom and being trained in lactation that there was no way on earth that it was healthy for my child to be stripped of the comfort of mommy’s breast, or the nutrition of mommy’s milk. I knew there were other ways to supplement, and so that’s what I did. I kept breastfeeding Abbey, just did it more often (on demand, no matter where I was or what we were doing. At work, at the grocery store, at the mall, at church. . . ) and let her be my guide. If she was hungry at night, I fed her - Even if it was six trips to her crib, or more. If she wanted a snack feeding, I fed her. I never used a pacifier. I also continued supplementing her with my hind milk (skimming it off the top of refrigerated storage bottles of pumped milk), and by my pediatrician’s recommendations, fed her the foods highest in natural fats in order to stimulate her weight gain.

I found another pediatric gastroenterologist, who actually happened to be an IBCLC as well. Though she still didn’t give me a warm and fuzzy feeling (I guess most M.D.s are just really cold hard facts kind of people), at least she didn’t demonize me for rejecting the “fortifying my milk” idea posed by the other GI specialist. When Abbey was a little over a year old, she declared that she was back on her growth curve and that we didn’t need to come in to see her anymore. Abbey is now 2, and weighs 26 pounds. Yes, she is slight. She is all legs, and not as chubby as her counterparts. But she is vivacious and healthy and smart, and definitely knows how to eat! She still knows how to breastfeed, too. She and her little brother will end up tandem nursing here in a few more months. She tells me that she will help "baby buth-a eat mama" - and I find that extremely adorable. She is perfect just the way she is, and my decision to avoid the hazards of formula and stick to exclusive breastfeeding was a good one for her.

I know that there is a time and a place for the use of formula. But the facts still stand that breastmilk is superior food for infants, formula poses many risks – and that breastfeeding is incredibly emotionally, developmentally, and physiologically beneficial to our babies. The science still shows that formula is inferior in composition to breastmilk, and that no amount of artificial replication can duplicate the complex carbohydrates, special human proteins, and protective elements that are only found in human milk. And breastmilk has none of the risks that artificial milks carry. So, I am immensely proud to have been able to withstand all the pressure to use formula to fatten up my daughter. I look back, and I think about all the times that people told me I was hurting her by feeding her as nature intended me to. And I am so glad to be able to say with confidence that they were all so wrong – and that my breastmilk, and my dedication to my daughter and her well-being – were just right.

If you are struggling with breastfeeding, or trying to decide what is best for your baby or your situation as a mom, I urge you to find the help that you need to make breastfeeding work for you. In our society, it’s not easy to be a mom – period. There is so much conflicting advice, and outspoken camps on both sides of every debate. It can get overwhelming and disconcerting even just in print, in cyberspace. Let alone when you’re struggling with the physical and emotional issues of parenthood at home, with a real live baby that depends on you. La Leche League is a great resource, as are blogs like this one, that bring moms together to share their stories and help one another. It’s a crazy world out there . . . and it’s hard to distinguish what is best – in any situation. What I have learned from my first breastfeeding experience is that educating yourself and mothering from the heart with dedication and love is the way to go, no doubt about it. Advocate for your baby and his or her needs – and that will lead you to find the help that you need and make the best decisions you can.

Amy, Nursing mama of Abbey
Thanks Amy for sharing your BF story!  We loved reading it!!

Amy also has some great posts about gentle parenting over at her blog-Toddler In Tow!!
http://little-willa-lamb.blogspot.com/2010/10/peaceful-toddler-discipline-r-e-s-p-e-c.html

Results are in! 1 year of nursing baby wins...???

I chose to put the following polls back to back in the past two weeks.  As Teddy and I near our 1 year marker I find myself observing the lack of support for mamas nursing their babies past infancy.  I thought I'd check for myself to see where the numbers were falling within my nursing community.  Does societies pressure to wean your baby at 6 months effect the mama's I know (or that are reading this)?  Does the stigma to nursing your baby past 12 months pressure any mamas to wean early (or earlier than their baby wants)??  It seems to me, based on the numbers I got, that 1 year seems to be a popular goal and weaning period".  Here are the results, judge for yourself:

Results of "How long did you plan on nursing your baby?"
25% 6 months

25% whenever

50% 1 year

Results of "How long did/have you nursed your baby?'
50% 6 months PLUS
41% 1 year  PLUS
8% Until they weaned naturally

Jen's Story-A Bumpy Road

My son Nicholas was born 4 years ago in February.  I knew before he was born that I wanted to give breast feeding a shot, and it was important that I tried, but I had no "goals" on how long to nurse him for, and I knew formula would probably be somewhere in the future.  I was (or am) the only person in my family who has ever breast fed ( I was adopted, so I was formula fed) and none of my cousins, etc. never even thought about breast feeding.  Unfortunately, in my family (and our society) formula feeding is the "norm".   He latched on so easily in the hospital and he was a champion nurser.  But he ate ALL of the time!!  What?? Was there something wrong with me?  Was it that he was just extra hungry, and I wasn't satisfying him??  Of course everyone around me told me so. 

I ended up nursing him for only a few months.  I had no idea the demands that came with breast feeding.  I didn't know that I wouldn't have a life at first, my house was a mess, I was feeling depressed, and I had no friends or family members for support.  I felt that if I felt better emotionally, I could be a better mom to my baby, and that was more important to me than how I fed my baby.  I was ok with it.  At first.  After a few months went by, I started getting overwhelming feelings of guilt, and I was wishing I could rewind time, and to do it all over again to go back to where I was nursing him.  Why wasn't I strong enough?  I couldn't just hang in there?  I now knew for sure that when another child came along, I was going to nurse that child for as long as I could, and not give up.  AND, it might be a little easier next time because I would know what to expect.

Wrong.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I knew in my mind that I was going to breast feed her for a good while.  I didn't want to set huge goals for myself, so I knew I wanted to for at least 6 months, if I could make it for a year, that would be awesome, and if for longer when she weaned herself, better yet!  I now knew the importance of it, for her health, and that there is nothing more natural.

My daughter Juliana Grace was born on May 31.  She was so beautiful, tiny, and precious.  A perfect little Memorial Day baby!  She didn't latch on quite like my son did, and didn't eat well in the hospital at all.  She lost a significant amount of weight, but apparently that was normal to lose a certain percentage.  We were at the pediatrician every couple of days for a weight check.    Why is she only gaining an ounce in a week?? She nurses all of the time...what gives? The pediatrician was concerned, but he always encouraged me to keep on going, she is going to be ok.  At two weeks of age, something just didn't seem right.  My newborn is not sleeping at all, and is crying ALL of the time.  My son would say to me, "mommy, make her stop crying!!"  The only way to make her stop was to nurse her.  But then it would get worse.  I took her to the pediatrician, and she was diagnosed with reflux.  All the classic symptoms she had.  Two weeks of Zantac, and no better.  Medication was increased, still no better.  It got to the point where I would go to nurse her and she would scream and almost fight me. It broke my heart.  I even missed my brother's wedding because she was in such a horrible state.  I told her doctor that I was also concerned about her stools. They were so runny and green, sometimes with mucous.  Not your classic breast fed poo. Her doctor then had me eliminate dairy. At 7 weeks old, we are at the pediatrician again!  She is still no better, she is so thin and frail, and does not look healthy at all. The doctor is very concerned.  He then did a hemacult test and it was positive for blood.  I was in tears.  He told me she has a milk/soy protein allergy, and I needed to remove every dairy and soy ingredient out of my diet immediately.  He told me I would be eating all whole foods basically, and to avoid eating out, cross-contamination, etc.  He also gave me a # for a pediatric GI specialist in Philadelphia, and to have her seen immediately. I was so upset.  I can't imagine how this happened to her, I was so worried about her well-being, and how would I continue breast feeding on such a strict diet?  I have two kids at home, I can't cook EVERY meal from scratch! And I can't go hungry!!

I almost wanted the doctor to give me a magic formula that would make her better immediately, and just move on with life!  But, it was like he didn't give me an option!  This is what you do, and that's it!  So, I left the office in a fog, in tears, and knew this is what I had to do.

A week later, we went to see the GI specialist in Philly.  There is still blood in my daughter's stool, she is still crying, and I am weak and hungry.  At this point I am off all milk/soy products, all nuts, all seafood (my son has a seafood allergy so she is more prone) and eggs.  The pediatrician said it would take a few weeks for us to work the proteins out of our systems, but this is getting tiring.  The GI specialist pushed my husband and I to switch to the hypoallergenic formula.  She said that in her experience, babies do much better with it and the results are incredible.  I would have a new baby in a day or two!  Nope.  I wasn't giving up now.  As tempting as it was, I wasn't doing it. She gave me a list of ingredients to avoid (there were many) and a guideline of how much calcium I now needed since I wasn't consuming any dairy.  We left the office, and on the ride home my husband asked if I was sure I wanted to keep going. I knew he was concerned about my health, and I knew the no-crying baby was appealing to him too.  I said I just couldn't give up, I knew that in the long run breast milk was the best thing for her.  After about a month, Juliana was a happier baby and I added eggs back into my diet.  I was learning more and more which foods I could eat after several trips to whole foods and lots of label reading.  I researched her condition after hours on the computer and quickly learned that MSPI is becoming more and more common. I also ordered a great cookbook that another mother wrote who breast fed her baby on the MSPI diet.  I found an on-line support group, who also provided some awesome and easy recipes which was a lifesaver!!  (and yes, my whole family thought I was nuts for even considering to continue to breast feeding!)

At three, four, five, and six months old Juliana is doing beautifully!  She is gaining weight like crazy, meeting all of her milestones, and she is so happy and playful, and wants to follow her brother's every move!  Around 6 1/2 months, we even started just a small amount of solids and she's loving every minute of it.  Just a few days after Christmas, my husband went back to work after having a couple of days off, and we are getting back into our little routine.  We were playing on the floor, and I walked away for a second to grab one of her favorite toys, and came back to find her with a big smile on her face, with spit-up on her chin mixed with blood.  I looked down at her play mat, and it was on that too.  My heart skipped about 3 beats.  This can't be happening.  I called the GI doc. and she sent us to DuPont.  After spending the day there with multiple tests, they gave us the option of admitting her there for observation and more tests or to bring her home and do the other tests out-patient.  I brought her home because she was tortured enough.  The next morning she had a diaper full of blood.  This can't be happening.  Everything was going so well, why now??  I stopped all solids (the tiny amount she was getting) We went for an upper GI ~  Normal.  We follow up with the GI doc.  and she explains that I need to have her stool tested again in a week.  If its still positive, its time to switch to the specialized formula.  I told her no, I am not ready to do that.  So, she gave me a week, and if there is still blood then I need to cut out wheat and egg.  I didn't understand if wheat and egg were in my diet before and she was doing so well, why do I need to cut it out now?  Never got a clear answer on that one.  If she wasn't better with that, she told me I really need to consider the formula. If she doesn't respond well to that, she would have to do exploratory surgery in her tiny belly and bowel to see what is causing all of this.  I could not imagine her little body being put through so much stress.  So, I prayed and prayed she would get better.  She did!  Her stool was negative at the pediatrician and it looked normal to the eye too!  

Then  a day later I came down with thrush symptoms, and Juliana was treated with liquid Nystatin for prevention.  After all, she has enough problems, why play around with thrush too?  Well, her sensitive little belly reacted to it.  Blood in stools again, and tons of mucous.  I stopped the nystatin and  I took her to the pediatrician because it was not getting better, it was disturbing.  It also showed that she lost 6 oz. in a week.  She never lost weight before.  Even when she was in her worst state months and months ago, with diarrhea every day, she never lost weight.  Her ped. told me to go ahead and do the gluten free diet and eliminate eggs, which I did.  I've been on the gluten free/egg free diet for 5 days now.  (along with the MSPI diet) My supply dropped some due to stress, but I was able to get it back to where it should be. She went back to the doctor today and gained 2 oz. back, and her stool was negative for blood.  Was it the medicine, or is it wheat or eggs? The GI doc has respected my choice to breast feed, but is still pushing the amino acid based formula, because she feels it would be best for her, because in her experience she sees it do wonders for babies with these types of stomach conditions.   But what if its not best for my baby? She is now almost 8 months old, and I feel that at this point in time, I do not want to stop now.  Of course if medically necessary, I would do anything or try anything to make my daughter better.  But what if she's not better when she's not on my breast milk?  I would feel like I failed her in some way.  But for myself and for her, I can't be hard on myself, and I can't keep focusing on the negative.  It is so easy for us mamas to be so hard on ourselves, and to not see the good in what we do.  Four years ago, when I was nursing my son, I would never in a million years think that I could take my diet down to almost nothing to continue to breast feed my child! I need to try to stay positive, and to not get caught up in her struggles. I need to focus on these precious moments with her and with my son, because I will never get them back.  And for now, only breast milk it is!!!

Any other MSPI Mamas out there?  http://www.mspimama.blogspot.com/  is a wonderful resource with lots of easy recipes, a lifesaver for us! You can also search MSPI Mama on facebook too...its a wonderful on-line support group :o)

Getting A Census In My Nursing Community

Last week you voted on the poll "How long did you plan to nurse", this week I'd LOVE to know-
how long you have nursed?!  You have until next tuesday to cast your vote!!

Please note-I moved the poll to the right side of the screen from all the way down below:)

The Formula Experiment (Amy's Story-Part 2)

The formula experiment. . .

One of my pediatrician’s physician’s assistants successfully pressured me (despite my better judgment) into taking home a sample can of Similac, with the argument that if I didn’t even TRY to supplement and see if it helped then I was being stubborn to the detriment of my child. When Abbey was 6 months old, I tried to give her some of the formula – only a pinch – mixed into breastmilk and water, and then mixed with her evening solid food. Hubs thought that if we tried it and it didn’t work, then the doctor might lay off at little bit. But we soon regretted that decision. That small pinch of formula elicited such a violent reaction of rashes and vomiting that hubs and I rushed Abbey to the emergency room and she was kept overnight for observation. When the pediatrician came to see us the next day, I was clear about my disappointment with his staff pressuring me into trying formula when I knew breastfeeding was better for Abbey, and since I was a trained breastfeeding counselor, he agreed to lay off the formula suggestions if I conceded to call the pediatrician’s office with a weight update every two weeks. And so I did. We did schedule an appointment with a pediatric gastrointestinal specialist, in order to make sure that Abbey’s slenderness didn’t have anything to do with digestion as a result of her surgery at birth. And with my interests dedicated closely to making sure Abbey was eating enough, she continued to gain weight, even without the use of the “magic fattening formula” that the pediatrician wanted me to experiment with.  


The final chapter of Amy's BF-ing story with post next week!  Stay tuned and check out Amy's blog for more of her thoughts on nursing your LO!
http://little-willa-lamb.blogspot.com/p/breastfeeding.html

Another Case Of Over Supply-Tina's Story!

I Received this email from Tina from Massachusetts, shortly after posting last fridays "What I've Learned-It Only Takes Four Months"

I have always known that I would breastfeed.  It was never a question for me, although I did have to convince my husband.  When my son Owen was born, the nurse placed him on my chest.  In minutes, he found my breast and began to nurse.  The nurse smiled at me, telling me he was a natural, and I cried.  Isn't that what we dream will happen?  My next opportunity to nurse my son didn't come until the next day.  The lactation nurse got him undressed, placed him in position, and Owen bobbed his little mouth in anticipation.  He grasped, and gulped, and in one quick moment, he popped back, chocking and screaming.  We tried again, position after position, until finally it was decided that he was just not ready.  With tears streaking my face, I gently rocked my newborn son to sleep.  

The rest of the day was a blur of the same.  Painful screams, tears and quiet desperation as that "perfect" scenario quickly slipped away.  Nobody slept, nobody ate.  Nurse after nurse walked in, truly believing that if that forced his tiny little face into my breast hard enough he would eat.  All they got were more screams, growing angrier each time.  I was heartbroken.  I felt broken, unable to perform such a natural task, unable to provide food for my helpless child.  

And then I met the night nurse.  Like all the others, she pressed his face into my breast mercilessly.  He cried and gasped, as though he were being tortured.  I looked at her and cried and i begged her to stop.  She didn't.  Finally I pulled the baby up and curled around him.  The nurse pulled back in awe.  I had insulted her.  She left the room and quickly came back with a small bottle of formula.  She placed it next to me and stepped away.  She glared and told me that I could not starve my child and that I needed to feed him the formula.  In a fit of hormone driven rage, I picked up the bottle and hurled it at her head with all the strength I had.  In retrospect, that could have been handled better, but I think my point was received.  I was then informed that this nurse needed to do a glucose test to prove that I was starving him.  Two hours and a vial of blood later, my son was returned with the diagnosis of being just fine.

The lactation nurse came into my room the next morning and helped me to hand-express.  Cup after cup, my husband fed him with a tiny dropper, so we wouldn't have to give him a bottle.  The nurse was astounded at how much I was able to express, and left to get me a pump so she could teach me to use it.  She set me up and left to check on another patient.  When she came back, over an hour later, my nipples were mutilated, unrecognizable, and covered in red blisters.  This is how I left the hospital.  

I don't think I made it through a feeding without crying for weeks.  I would try for hours, watching him sputter and choke as the milk poured out of his mouth.  I soaked through two to three bath towels with each feeding, and nursing pads barely lasted an hour.  My breasts were badly engorged and I was in a lot of pain.  I asked family, friends, neighbors and near-strangers for advice.  I begged my mother as though everyone were hiding some secret from me.  

At Owen's two week visit, the doctor set up a VNA lactation nurse to visit me.  She winced in pain as I revealed my breasts.  She prescribed a cream for the nipples and told me not to pump anymore, that I was increasing my supply.  For the next two weeks I iced my breasts, took shower after shower, and leaned over the sink just to relieve some pressure.  No shirt was loose enough.  When the nurse came back, she found me worse off than before.  That was when she told me that I had an oversupply.  She set up a pumping schedule to "reset" my breasts.  Music to my ears.  Within twelve hours, I felt human again, and something amazing happened, Owen latched on right away.  Not only that, he stayed on.  

It took another month of ups and downs before things really settled in.  Owen had gotten lazy from the milk just pouring into his mouth, and had never gotten a good latch, because I was too afraid to break any latch he had.  I got engorged a couple more times, but now I knew how to fix it.  

Despite all of the problems we had, Owen has never had a bottle, or formula for that matter.  At now ten months old, the breastfeeds like a pro.  I look back at our first months together as just one of the many challenges we will face together, and I am proud of how far we've come.  I'm thankful for the people who supported me, and the one person who was able to help me get where we are today.  I wish there were more people out there, who could tell new moms that it's going to be okay, that there is an answer to every problem, and a light at the end of every tunnel, and you CAN do this.

We, as moms do some pretty amazing things.  We create life from a tiny mass of cells, and we do it more perfectly than any scientist.  We create their food from no more than our own bodies, and we do it better than the wealthiest businesses.  Why do we still question ourselves?

Tina, nursing mama of Owen 10 months

It's official-I am a lactivist!

Voting for my last poll "Are You A Lactivist" closed today and the results showed 46% of voters would consider themselves a mom who supports and speaks out for the nursing community.   It's amazing to me how natures way of feeding baby needs activists, but it does!  It seems nursing anywhere longer than 6 months has fallen out of style over the years and been updated with a more socially friendly version-formula feeding!  The funny thing about formula is that it replaced 'wet nursing', or the services of a lactating mama for another family.  That's what it was intended for, to help the mama's who needed it.  It has, over the past 30 years or so, become breast milks competition. And somehow along the way as the use of formula became more and more popular and the practice of nursing became less and less common the general knowledge of lactating became more and more scarce.  With knowledge and understanding of how to nurse becoming less available, it is understanding that a formula ad could appeal to an expecting mom as her first choice in infant nutrition.  However much I totally agree you have to do what is best for your family, lack of information is a poor excuse to choose formula--and here I speak out!  I am a lactivist!  I do not hate on formula feeding mamas, I simply acknowledge that there is too little good information and support in the nursing community and I want to help!  For the moms who wanted to nurse but were told they couldn't, for the moms who nurse their toddler and are asked why, for all the moms who are being impacted by that shift in feeding baby over the past 30 years that can only be credited to the money hungry formula companies-I will speak for you!  -kinda picturing Barack Obama rallying right now:)

53% of voters labeled themselves pro-breastfeeding and 0% hide nursing or are against nursing their babies.

Formula-Not An Option (Remember Amy?-Part 1)

Amy from Toddler in Tow is sharing today!
http://little-willa-lamb.blogspot.com/2010/08/follow-that-intuition-respecting.html

In the beginning. . .

. . . I was just a run of the mill pregnant mom. I describe myself now as an informed, natural parent. But when I was pregnant with Abbey, I didn’t fit that description. I did know that I was going to breastfeed – in fact, the alternative (choosing formula feeding) didn’t even occur to me. It wasn’t even a choice in my mind. It was a just logical progression from birth to the breast. But on the topics of prenatal wellness, birth, and parenting . . . I’ll have to admit was pretty ignorant. I ended up being electively induced at 39 weeks, and after birth, Abbey latched onto the breast like a pro. As soon as she was handed back to me, I offered her the breast, and right on she went. You hear horror stories about trying to breastfeed in the hospital, but she was a perfect milk-guzzling angel. In hindsight now, looking at it from a breastfeeding counselor’s standpoint, her easy going nursing was really an exception to the rule. With the interventions I had (induction, episiotomy, separation at birth, no skin-to-skin, etc), the chances of breastfeeding going as smoothly as it were slim. I was definitely lucky.

And then she got sick. She didn’t sleep almost at all in the hospital after birth. She would fall asleep after nursing, sleep for a short nap, and then wake and scream in pain. We walked with her, cuddled her, sang to her, rocked her, I nursed her for comfort, and still she screamed. I talk about this part of our breastfeeding experience in my post “Follow That Intuition!” about the importance of mothers’ natural postpartum perceptions. Long story short, it was discovered that Abbey had some sort of blockage in her intestines that was keeping her from fully digesting my milk – and hence keeping her from making a bowel movement. She was transferred to a larger hospital about an hour away from our house, and at two days old, she had a corrective surgery for an illial atresia in her intestine – which means that a small portion of the intestine had not formed during birth, and the surgeons had to cut open her tiny belly, open up the two closed intestinal tubes, and attach her intestine together in order to allow the digested breastmilk to flow through to her bowels. Scary, scary stuff. It was so hard. But we made it through.

Pumping and getting back to the breast. . .

. . . was rough. She was in recovery in the NICU for 3 ½ weeks. I pumped the whole time. It was difficult. I was engorged. I had to pump 10-12 times per day, and sometimes, I just plain didn’t want to attach that awful plastic machine to my boobs. But I did it. Because I knew that was part of my role in her recovery, and I knew that I wanted her back on my breast as soon as she was ready. She was IV fed nutrients until her stomach was pumped of all the fermenting bile (yuck) and then she was tube fed and bottle fed my breastmilk in very small quantities until she could return to the breast. I mentioned before how easy breastfeeding was after birth. . . you can imagine how immensely heartbreaking it was to hear her wail and watch her turn beet red in frustration at not remembering how to latch on after weeks of no practice. I just stayed by her side and breastfed at every cue. Soon after returning to the breast, she had her first really good bowel movement, which was one of the conditions of her discharge from the NICU. Soon after, we took her home.

The newborn baby days. . .

. . . were very normal. I tell every expectant or new mother that I meet that it is absolutely normal and healthy for newborns to breastfeed constantly for six to eight weeks. That is nature’s design (though it doesn’t work very well with society’s designs. . . ) And this was true for Abbey as well. She was almost a month old when we took her home, but it wasn’t at least till after New Years, when she was four months old – that I felt as if she weren’t “on me all the time”. I’ll admit, at times it was a bit disconcerting. I yearned for at least a slight separation from my baby – after all, I was a woman, too – not just a milk machine! But especially now that I am more informed about breastfeeding and parenting, I can look back and know that our experience in early infancy was definitely healthy – and I’m glad that I stuck with it, even when I felt weighed down, depressed, or lonely. Around 3 months, I experienced what I now know from my training to be a nursing strike, but once I figured out how to help her though, everything smoothed out, and as Abbey grew, we were so happy with her growth and her development – it was such a joy to be new parents, and I enjoyed nourishing her with my milk, without any other setbacks. 

This is only PART ONE of three of Amy's story.  She has lots of (now fabulous-but at the time challenging) reasons to be a great voice and support person in the nursing community!  Check back next week for Part Two of Amy's story-The Formula Experiment.

If you have a great story to share about how you and your baby concurred the hurdles of your nursing journey that you could share to help inspire and encourage nursing mamas just starting or going through some challenges, email them to jamie@djabove.com.

Lessons I've Learned... It Only Takes 4 months.

I've learned many lessons from my new baby.  Most of them through nursing.  Here's another:

Teddy had always liked to nurse.  The nurse who "helped" me in the hospital said that Teddy must have been reading all about nursing with me while I was preggers because he latched like a champ and never looked back!  Unlike most stories you might hear about nursing, my concern when in the beginning was "why does he nurse so much?"  I soon learned through my fab BF support group that it was normal and that he would grow out of it.  For 1 month it was painful, for 3 months I leaked (yuck) and at month 4, I finally realized I had an over supply.

How could I not be over flowing with milk?  Teddy nursed every hour during the day for 3 months straight!  During month four of his life, he finally slowed down.  You'd think that's when our nursing journey got easier, but it actually got harder-for that month...

When Teddy started nursing every 2 hours, I was relieved.  I had a little more time to do things-like shower and eat!  But the sudden change from every hour to every two hours left me with what ended up being our our final nursing challenge (well, until the teeth came in).

This is not right, mom!

The symptoms:
All of a sudden Teddy was gulping much quicker and for longer amounts of time.  He would often pull off and choke!  Then there would be times when he wouldn't nurse.  He would pull off and scream his head off!  I would have to stop, bounce him around (he gets sleepy when you stand and bounce him) for 10-15 minutes and try again.  I would constantly be encouraging him through the feed.  I remember he would look up at me while he was nursing like "I know this is what I am suppose to do, but it's not right!"  After the let down, he'd be ok to continue nursing.  I had read that some babies have a hard time with keeping up until they learn how to handle the  sudden down spill of milk.  I thought he just needed time.  Because his feedings were so uncomfortable, he soon stopped nursing unless he was absolutely starving!

Soon we were having sleep problems.  Teddy had never been a napper but he was always good at night.  He fell asleep and slept for 4-5 hours than woke to eat than another 3 hours than some more nursing than another 3 hours.  It was like this from the day he was born until the week after he turned three months.  The night time wakings suddenly started occurring every 45 minutes!!  Now, a lot had changed in his fourth month of life, namely, he was put on a beta blocker called Propanolol for his hemangioma (strawberry birthmark that was dangerously close to his left eye).  This is also the time when he started becoming more aware of his surroundings and ate less often during the day.  I had also read about babies eating less during the day and making up for the calories at night.  So as you can see, there were a lot of possibilities!  Finally, after about a month of the TOO-frequent night wakings, I started to think it could be a food allergy.  Although I had read enough about nursing to know this was VERY rare, I NEEDED to find the answer and was willing to try anything!!

So I set out on the elimination diet.  Nothing but pears, rice and squash for as long as needed until Teddy's symptoms went away.  Once the symptoms disappeared, I could add one item at a time back into my diet, monitoring Teddy's behavior to see if that item effected him.  A little extreme, I know, but when you aren't sleeping you will do anything!!  Well, 5 or 6 days later I had lost about 4 pounds from basically starving myself and Teddy had not shown any change!!  While the diet called for the pears, rice and squash for as long as needed up to up to 7 days, I had pretty much determined, it was not what was eating:(

So I began my web-o-sphere research!

I don't even know how I stumbled upon this solution...I was looking up gas in babies...something led me to over-supply symptoms which included a forceful let-down and it clicked!  Teddy's pulling off in pain, his gulping so quickly and chocking, my over-supply had left me with a forceful let-down and it was discouraging Teddy from continuing the feed!  I wasn't positive, but it made so much sense!

The solution:
1. Hold your baby more upright (more of a sitting position) to use gravity to their advantage when the let down came.
2. Start block feeding

Block feeding was simple.  By feeding off of one side for up to 3 hours in a row (as opposed to switching sides at each feeding), you would show your body that the over supply was not needed.  Eventually your milk supply would regulate and you could go back to feeding as usual.  This relieved Teddy's symptoms almost immediately, even though I continued the block feeding for about a month longer.

I learned that "feeling" full or engorged only happens when you have an over supply, like when your milk first comes in and when your body is regulating to your babies needs in the first few months.  After your body regulates (which mine never did because Teddy nursed for comfort so often), if you are engorged, you have waited too long in between feedings!  Interesting, huh!  

After we solved our over-supply/forceful let-down problems, Teddy never again pulled off in pain, stopped chocking during feedings and started comfort nursing again.  YAY!

Even though Teddy's lack of sleep, turned into my lack of sleep that eventually lead us to solve my oversupply issue, our sleep issues, however, never ceased!  I am increasingly more suspicious of the medicine he is taking-however many times the doctors assure me that difficulty sleeping is not a symptom and that nobody has reported such a problem.  It could be a number of other things keeping Teddy from sleeping, but I believe belly pains that the medicine is giving him keep him from sleeping comfortably, thus waking sooner than he would normally. At the moment, the medicine is too crucial to Teddy's health to stop it to see if I am right.  I can only hope we will get the ok to stop it soon and he will go back to the "good" night time sleeper I had for 3 months before the medicine. (haha)

So near his 4 month birthday, we had finally found our nursing "grove".  We had successfully tackled each of our nursing obstacles and made it to the part of the journey where we could relax & enjoy our time together.  When his 6 month birthday came, I looked at how easily and comfortable nursing fit into our lives and wondered why anyone who had made it to this stage would chose to switch to formula??  Why start paying for the food now?  Why start worrying about bottles-buying them and washing them??

It only takes 4 months ladies!!!  (and for MANY, less than 4 months)  You can make it through!!  Don't give up!!  Don't give into the pressure to supplement or stop nursing because you (or even worse) your doctor can't figure out why you are having certain symptoms!!  It only took us 4 months!!


What have you learned from nursing your baby?  If you have a lesson that could be helpful t another mama, share it today!  Send it to Jamie@djabove.com or to my facebook inbox to have it posted here and support other mamas going through their nursing challenges right now!