I have recorded in my journal so many things this is a chunk of that.
To understand our situation I have to explain where I started we started.
I was 30 when I married I had a long old medical history that just was hanging on and up till I married my husband (eight years older than me) a child was never in my thoughts.
Reasons / never trusted guys; and I was never not sick or on dome medicine that wouldn't hurt a developing baby.
So, four years into our marriage and several surgeries for me (gastric by-pass related) my docs started to clear us for a baby. Wow a baby very serial for my husband and I.
We didn't think it would be easy but I was I couldn't just wing it. I got ovulation kits and after only three months we did it!!!!
The stick the magic perfect stick all 6 lol.
Then the new stress, with gastric by-pass could I stay healthy enough to carry a baby to term.
Gastric by-pass post opp:
Vitamins, blood tests, eating problems
That's before baby
So I was now crazy officially.
Good news eating went very well.
Vitamins we just added new ones and made adjustments.
Blood tests well, they made me high risk given my history so more blood work but extra ultrasounds.
Now decisions and more decisions.
Bottle or breast
Had two friends out of state who nursed so they sent me all their books they got from classes. One even showed me with her own baby how to nurse.
I signed up for every class I could find and my husband came with me.
All the prep and the planning and my husband was the most realistic (stop guessing how it will be) just breathe.
Relax if I keep planning I will set myself up for disappointment.
We hadn't even gotten to the talk over delivery.
Labor and delivery:
One of my surgeries left me with two huge scares vertical ( like open heart surgery )
And horizontal ( like a c- section but it stretches from behind one hip near spine to the other )
So I went in to Obgyn ready for c-section but was told they really wanted to try for vaginal I trusted them on this.
We formed a plan.
So fast forward to birth I was 3.5 weeks early but it was all very text book
Back labor included.
Water breaks / in denial but go to hospital
Labor was hard but I begged please no c-section the doctor said we could try as long as baby wasn't stressed.
We didn't know till the end that not only was cord over her head but she had tied the cord in two knots it looked like a pretzel.
But at 5lbs 10ozs she was healthy
They handed her to me right away from only a few minutes maybe seconds and then took her for a warm up and worked on me.
Then I got her back to meet her and try bonding and nursing .
It was so serial. She was tiny.
I was petrified.
No one told me about the sadness that can follow a birth.
Or the crying you do while nursing or the crying you do when the doctors want you to supplement because your baby is tiny.
The joy the sadness.
We got home and the first three months my husband, parents, and a friend or two were so very supportive.
I was determined to be able to do this to nurse my baby.
It wasn't till she was almost three months old and I thought I had a supply problem that I reached out to a local girlfriend who had a friend who nursed.
That was when I met other nursing mommies at virtua.
I finally was able to go out on my own and nurse in public unafraid and very proud of myself.
I am so blessed with new mommy friends I wouldn't change anything.
My husband and I practice attached parenting or something like it.
We know how lucky we are and are so thankful for all we have.
I hope this speaks to someone.
Erica Hovis
Mother of Ashlynn
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