Lesson learned: there is no such thing as "normal".
A very frantic version of myself called a supportive lady at the Haddonfield LLL. "Why is he nursing so much? ...Is he getting enough? ...Is he latching properly? ...What do I need to do??" were among my many questions. The experienced LLL rep simply answered "you have a high-need baby". While I don't know if I agree with the term 'high-need'-however well it sums up Teddy's personality, this general answer to all of my questions seemed to be the only answer that made my questions disappear! He nursed so often because he needed to, because he wanted to, because, for Teddy, this is what being a newborn meant. Although, I found mamas going through the exact same thing-glued to the rocker or couch with a newborn nursing baby attached 24/7-everyone seemed to tell me a different time frame as to when it would end. Eventually he would nurse every 2 1/2-3 hours (which is considered "normal" for newborns but took us nearly 7 months). I was surprised to learn how well babies can follow their instincts to get what they need, without help or any intervention from myself. I literally had to just sit back and follow Teddy's lead and everything worked itself out... eventually:)
It seems like all the standards of "normal baby behavior" are based off the seemly consistent schedules of formula-fed babies. I'm not sure a mama using formula would have learned this lesson. ??? Does the heaviness that keeps a formula-fed newborn's belly full for 2-3 hours diminish the ability and need for those babies to follow their instincts? I'd love to hear some lessons from a mama using formula- (insert pitch for more voices from the mama community!!!)
Follow the baby, follow the baby, follow the baby!
ReplyDeleteOne of the greatest things that I learned while nursing abbey in infancy was "look at the BABY not only the numbers" - a lot of moms get caught up in making sure that their little ones are following the "normal" curves, doing the right developmental things at the "right" time, eating the right number of ounces, or nursing for the "right" amount of time, in the "right" spacing throughout the day. Don't even get me started on the question "how many hours is your baby sleeping at night?" or the dreaded "is your baby sleeping through the night?"
All of these quantitative measures are completely useless compared to the observation of the actual baby! Is your baby happy? Is he fed? Is he comforted? Is he rested? Is he smiling? Is he active? Good! Then keep doing what you're doing and don't stress yourself over the numbers or th expectations that society places for babies.
Babies are babies. They need us and that is a good thing, not something to be fought against with "training" and "schedules"
You are soo right! Ok maybe my post sounds a little like I am bashing formula (hopefully it doesn't sound like I am bashing formula using mommies!!!) You make a good point-and maybe the same point that I was aiming for-there is too much emphasis on being "normal" and having a "good" baby! It is the lucky mommies that find he support they need to follow their "guts" and let their babies follow their instincts:)
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